I am sitting here in my bed with the lap top in my lap or course and i am thinking. I am wondering if what I am fighting to keep is even worth it. I mean Love is a strong emotion that keeps couples together but I am starting to think that it is just not enough. I mean How is it a good thing when I am the only one going to war to fight to win this battle of a ruined relationship. so it seems ruined. He claims to love me and I love him but we are not together.
He claims that he has not given himself to someone else but I don't seem to have him either. Why is that? Why is that we fight and argue with each other but yet he wont fight for me. This is getting old and tired and my heart is exhausted. I have been through so much and not once has he been there like he used to be.
I was attacked at a party, damn near raped, no comfort. I went through something all alone that I am not ready to mention here, but without him!
HOW I FEEL, I am feeling like what the fuck am i doing trying to hold on to something that clearly has no handles. I am a good women, This i know but my heart is finding it hard to let go of the ties that bind him and I. Yes they seem to be double knotted! Damn it where are my scissors!? I am done, cut the ties, release me from the bondage that he has over me! wash me clean, repair my heart and let me live in the happiness that i deserve! Ugghhh why am i going through this with him over and over. Do you have the answer cause I don't!
and i know this seems that i am going on and on but that is the beauty of my BLOG, i can do that!hahah, i just needed to release and let loose the WAY I FEEL!